Archives for May 2024

Harvesting and Creating Stunning DIY Floral Arrangements from your Garden

May 29, 2024

I love me some fresh flowers in my home. They brighten up my kitchen, which lacks windows. And it adds a freshness in both appearance and scent. This year I’m making more DIY floral arrangements than ever, and I’ve found a few tips and tricks I’d love to share.

So, with a little effort, and the bounty of your own garden, you can craft beautiful bouquets and arrangements that rival those of professional florists for a fraction of the cost. Here’s how I approach the art of harvesting and creating stunning DIY floral arrangements using flowers grown right in your own backyard.

Choose the Right Flowers

Start by selecting a variety of flowers that compliment each other in color, size, and texture. There’s a little phrase that you can use to remind yourself of the different types of blooms and foliage you should utilize: a filler, a spiller, and a thriller. Consider blooms that are in season and thrive in your local climate. Popular “thrillers” or focal flowers include roses, dahlias, zinnias, and hydrangeas. “Spillers” can be flora that are spike shaped like gladiolus, larkspur, baptisia, or even grasses. You can utilize both greenery and flowers for “fillers” such as yarrow, cosmos, or feverfew.

Timing is Key

Harvest flowers early in the morning or late in the evening when they’re at their freshest. Use sharp clean shears to snip stems at a 45-degree angle, ensuring they have plenty of water intake once placed in a vase.

Also, keep in mind that some flowers will last longest in the vase if you cut them before they are fully “blown out” or opened. For example, peonies do best when picked before they open up and the bud is soft and squishy like a marshmallow. Roses and tulips also do best if harvested before the bloom opens.

On the other hand, other flowers such as zinnias and yarrow should be harvested only once they are fully open and the stem has stiffened. There’s something called the “wiggle test” that will help you to see if these flowers are ready: if they are floppy, hold off for a day or two. If the flower is sturdy when you wiggle it, then it’s ready to snip!

Mix and Match

Also, you can create depth and visual interest by mixing different flower types, heights, and shapes in your DIY floral arrangements. Pair large focal blooms with delicate filler flowers and foliage for balance.

Don’t forget the Greens

Greenery such as eucalyptus, ferns, and foliage from shrubs adds texture and volume to your arrangement. Herbs like basils, mints, and catnips make fantastic foliage. Another unexpected option is raspberry leaves. Don’t overlook these natural accents- they can elevate your bouquets and make them feel much more luxe.

Prep your Vase and your Flowers

Choose a clean vase that complements the style and size of your DIY floral arrangements. It should be clean enough to drink out of. Because bacteria will shorten the lives of your flowers. Fill it with fresh water and add a floral preservative to really prolong the life of your blooms. A pinch of sugar or a crushed up aspirin can be used in a pinch.

Also, before you arrange, make sure to strip all of the leaves from the bottom of your flower and foliage stems. Any part of the stems that will be in the water should be bare. This will help prevent the leaves from rotting and introducing more bacteria into your water.

Arrange with Care

Start by placing your largest blooms in the center and working outward, filling in gaps with smaller flowers and greenery. You could alternatively start with your foliage if they are very large. Trim excess foliage and adjust stem lengths as needed to achieve your desired shape and height.

Add Personal Touches to your DIY Floral Arrangements

You could optionally enhance your arrangement with personal touches. Things such as ribbons, decorative stones, feathers, or dried flowers or grasses add a unique flair. Let your creativity shine!

Maintain and Enjoy

To keep your bouquets looking fresh, change the water every few days and trim stems at an angle to encourage water absorption. Display your creation in a cool, well-lit area away from direct sunlight and drafts. While you may think a window would be the perfect place for a cheery bouquet, it is one of the worst places you could put your DIY floral arrangements! Direct sun will really decrease the lifespan of your flowers.

Conclusion

Finally, creating stunning DIY floral arrangements from your garden is a rewarding experience that allows you to showcase the beauty of nature right in your home. With a bit of practice and creativity, you can enjoy the splendor of freshly harvested blooms all season long. So roll up your sleeves, get down in your garden, and let your creativity bloom!

My Natural Birth after Rectovaginal Fistula: a Redemptive Birth

May 22, 2024

My Birth History

A natural hospital birth after rectovaginal fistula — ^{Photo by Jenn Ferrick Photography: https://www.jennferrickphotography.com/}

I honestly didn’t know if I’d be able to have a natural birth after rectovaginal fistula with my third child. This wasn’t a typical self-doubt that many women have about labor or delivery, though. I had searched and searched for women who had gone through what I had and succeeded with a vaginal delivery after a rectovaginal fistula repair. I believe I found ONE story within a Facebook group. Things felt hopeless for a time, but there was a feeling I kept having that another unmedicated birth is what I was supposed to do.

Now, my first and second births couldn’t have been more different even though they were both natural hospital births. My first baby was under 8 lbs, but my second over 11. My first birth was filled with an endorphin fuelled haze and progressed beautifully. The second labor stalled. I had a very natural-minded nurse and midwife with my first birth who gently coached pushing, but my second had nurses prompting me to push very aggressively and quickly. I got a second degree tear in my first birth. But my second birth resulted in a fourth degree tear. That’s the most severe, and it was accompanied by a hematoma that had my OB struggling to stitch the repair properly. That hematoma ended up contributing to something that is pretty rare in the Western world’s modern birth climate: a rectovaginal fistula. Without getting too into it, if you’re unfamiliar with the injury, this is essentially a hole between the rectum and vagina, and, as you may imagine, comes with a host of uncomfortable and embarrassing symptoms.

When my baby was about 4 months old, I underwent surgery to repair the fistula. Unlike many women in my situation, I was very blessed with a wildly successful surgery that healed beautifully. There were minor symptoms remaining that are very common with those who have suffered a Fourth Degree tear, but none of the RVF symptoms remained. I was so grateful. I still thank God frequently for the absolutely amazing surgical team and relatively easy recovery. I started considering a natural birth after rectovaginal fistula with my next baby, but I didn’t know if it was even an option.

Pregnancy after RVF Repair

I waited a little longer to attempt to grow our family than I would have had I not had a RVF (rectovaginal fistula). I didn’t get pregnant until Logan was two. The pregnancy was pretty normal, but I had a lot of pelvic pain (which I also had with both of my other pregnancies, although more with my second). I wondered if this was a sign my baby was going to be big again, but my OB didn’t seem overly concerned. We had a lot of conversations about what happened with my previous labor and delivery, what could have gone differently, and how we could learn from those missteps for the next birth. Pros and cons of each type of delivery were discussed in depth, and he inspected my repair.

Ultimately, it was my choice on what type of birth I wanted, he said. But he thought I could definitely be a candidate for another vaginal delivery. If a natural birth after rectovaginal fistula is something you desire, I definitely recommend making sure you have a provider who will support it. Which, honestly, is probably going to be very hard to find. I had a unicorn of an OB, and he’s extremely supportive of physiological childbirth. Your provider is going to make or break your birth plan, whichever you choose, so choose wisely.

Preparing for a Natural Birth after Rectovaginal Fistula

I did make sure to prepare as much as I could for this natural birth after rectovaginal fistula. Chiropractor care throughout the pregnancy was wildly helpful for the pelvic pain especially. Throughout my third trimester I consumed Red Raspberry Leaf tea. I purchased some evening primrose oil and did my perineal massages (don’t let the name fool you- they’re not pleasant), and learned the miles circuit. At the end of pregnancy I focused on pelvic floor exercises, practiced breathing, and a lot of visualization.

I opted not to have an ultrasound to determine baby’s size. This might surprise a lot of people. I fully intended to at first, but as I got further along in pregnancy and got more confident in my decision to birth naturally, I just didn’t feel the need to.

Also, it was very important for me to hire a doula this time around. This gave me a lot of confidence. With both of my previous births, i learned that the nursing staff will make or break your birth experience, and I wanted someone to help guide the nurses if necessary. I also signed up to have her bring a birth pool to the hospital and requested a hospital room that could accommodate that. The pool didn’t even get set up or filled up before baby came, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Labor History

With my first birth, labor came on very text-book, and contractions started with a bit of a pattern and slowly got more intense and more frequent throughout the day. It started in the middle of the night/early morning but I was able to sleep through a lot of it, then we were heading to the hospital before dinner time. I labored in the hospital for like 7ish hours before Claira was born. I went into labor at 40 weeks.

With my second, however, I was 38 weeks when I eventually delivered. I was in prodromal labor off and on for 3 days before the real thing kicked in. I also realized, after the fact, that I had a slow leak in my waters and it had probably been leaking for a full day at least before he was born. Whoops. At the peak of Covid in December of 2020, we finally headed into the hospital. Then things stalled after a few hours of labor. My nurse kept wanting me to get pitocin, which I didn’t want to do unless necessary. My OB didn’t think it was needed, but offered to check my dilation. I agreed, and my water burst when he did. Things picked back up, and Logan was finally born after a couple more hours.

Going into Labor

Because my labors were so different, I didn’t know how this one was going to go. Unfortunately, it started out a lot more like Logan’s than Claira’s. I hoped this wasn’t a bad sign, but kept my breathing and rested as much as I could. I had days of prodromal labor once again, also at 38 weeks. I just hoped it wouldn’t be weeks of “false labor” like I’d heard some women experienced.

I rested whenever I could, but also practiced the miles circuit periodically. I also walked and showered to see if that changed my labor patterns. Once things started feeling a little more “real” I called my OB who suggested I wait just a little longer. It just didn’t seem like the contractions were intense enough yet. Once they were intense and frequent, I called back and he said to go ahead and head that way. I live over an hour from the hospital, and it took about an hour to get the kids squared away before we left.

^{Photo by Jenn Ferrick Photography: https://www.jennferrickphotography.com/}

My Doula had given me a comb to squeeze to help with labor pains, and I swear that’s the only thing that got me through that car ride. Contractions were getting intense. I was starting to get vocal before we even left the house. This had my husband a little concerned because I didn’t usually get that vocal until it was close to baby time.

At the Hospital

Once we arrived to the hospital, I was the only one on the floor. I had some amazing nurses who were very supportive of unmedicated births, and that makes all the difference. They were attentive but also left me to it, which was a fantastic balance. When we got there I asked her to check my dilation to get an idea of my progress; I was about 5 cm dilated. I had honestly hoped I was further along based on how I was feeling, so I settled in for what I thought would be a lot longer.

My Doula got a flat tire on her way to the hospital, so I labored alone with the nurses and my husband. He was great at getting me anything I needed. I was really starting to question my decision to do this again after a short time. Things were just so intense. In retrospect, I was definitely in transition. It came a lot sooner than I expected!

Then I started feeling “pushy”. I surrendered into my contractions, but didn’t actively push. Even though I was starting to feel an urge to push, I didn’t feel the tell-tale pressure that tells you that baby is coming. This mirrored how I felt my first labor, and I just thought I had a while to go. My Doula still wasn’t there with the birth pool, but she had texted my husband that she was close. The doctor wasn’t there, yet, either.

Controlled Chaos: my natural birth after rectovaginal fistula

Suddenly, I felt an uncontrollable urge to push while I sat on the birth ball. And my body did. Purely on reflex, my body pushed and my water broke. My husband call the nurse, and when I stood up, I felt her. Baby was coming. Now!

I remember saying “Oh, I feel her in my butt. She’s coming” and calmly waddled myself over to the bed. I laid on my side and just focused on breathing while my contractions pushed Josephine towards the world. I remember saying to everyone in the room, “my body’s just pushing, I can’t control it!”

I gripped onto the side rails of the bed. I focused on deep breaths into my stomach through my nose, and slowly out my mouth. “My body was made to do this. I can do this,” I repeated over and over again. I felt her crown. My Doula texted my husband that she just parked, and he told her not to worry about bringing the pool.

The nurses helped me onto my knees as the on-call doctor rushed into the room and gloved up. I continued to breath. Positioning my knees inward, feet out, to create space, I focused on pushing gently and slowly.

Once her head was out, the on-call doctor urged me to push a little harder than I had been. I didn’t want any coached pushing, so they tried to be calmer than my previous experience. But they still coached pushing this time around. I did as they asked but made sure it was not “purple pushing.”

Josephine has arrived!

With one final push, I felt the sweetest relief as Josephine entered the world. The nurses helped me turn over as they laid her slightly purple (and huge!) body on my chest. I was a little concerned about her coloring, and she was a little floppy, but nobody was panicking, so I stayed calm. The nurse helped me to stimulate her, and she gave a big beautiful cry as she slowly turned pink. With a tuft of dark hair, and the sweetest sleepy face, she immediately latched on and started nursing like a champ.

I was in awe. That was such a calm, controlled, and miraculous delivery. It made me fall in love with birth all over again. My natural birth after rectovaginal fistula was the most beautiful redemption of my previous experience, and my husband and I just stared at each other wide eyed as this sweet little baby snuggled on my chest.

My doula walked in the room just as they were discussing clamping the cord, and she immediately jumped in to make sure I was ready for that. She wasn’t with me during my labor or birth, but preparing for my natural birth after rectovaginal fistuala was so much less stressful knowing I had a doula. The on-call doctor and nurses were inspecting for tears as my OB walked in.

“You’re just in time for the repair!” the on-call doctor said cheerily, and he froze mid-step. “It’s only a second degree,” she assured him and he let out a sigh of relief. He had been so worried that he had possibly advised me wrong.

A Relieving Post-partum Experience

Having gone through a fourth degree tear after my previous birth, a second degree tear was a breeze to heal from this time around. I didn’t have postpartum anxiety like I did after my first birth. Physically, I was so much more capable than after my second. Postpartum this time around was full of love and peace, and was only marred by a bad case of contact dermatitis from the dermoplast spray. Which, all things considering, was a fantastic outcome!

Conclusion about a natural birth after rectovaginal fistula

Having a natural birth after rectovaginal fistula repair was absolutely the right decision for me. It may not be for someone else. I’m not out here preaching that anyone should attempt it, but I am simply sharing my story so that if it’s something you desire, you can see that someone else has done it. Talk to your OB or midwife, because everyone’s situation is different.

In my case, the fistula was very large and low lying. It was repaired well, and my OB actually believed that the manner in which it was repaired reinforced the tissue to help prevent a worse tear. Someone else’s situation may not be the same.

I’m not a medical professional, and I’m not trying to sway anyone one way or another. I am simply a mom passionate about physiological birth who has experienced wonderful births as well as physically traumatic births. And I hope my story can help someone else somehow.

Progress Over Perfection: A Journey to Wellness through Homesteading

May 18, 2024

In a world that often glorifies perfection, while at the same time pushing us to embrace our “hot messiness”, simply embracing progress and the pursuit of such can seem like a revolutionary act. Especially for stay-at-home moms. We’re constantly navigating the challenging terrain of homemaking and wellness. As a beginner homesteader on a quest for holistic health, I’m coming to realize that the journey to wellness is not about achieving flawless outcomes or aesthetics. It’s about celebrating the small steps along the way.

The Pursuit of Perfection: A Trap for Homemakers

As a stay-at-home mom, the pressure to create a picture perfect home and family can feel overwhelming. From immaculately clean and aesthetic houses to gourmet meals and tidy, well-behaved children, societal expectations set an unrealistic standard that are near impossible to attain. That’s why so many 50’s housewives used drugs packaged as “mother’s little helpers”- they were seeking a standard of perfection that was simply not realistic. Similarly, the wellness industry and Hollywood constantly bombard us with images of flawless bodies, diets, surgically enhanced faces, as well as lifestyles that fuel the belief that perfection is the only path to happiness and fulfillment.

The Hot Mess Mom: A crutch for underachieving

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have, in recent years, embraced the “Hot Mess”. In an attempt to be “relateable”, and in an attempt to curb the pressures of perfectionism, aspects of Mom culture have completely gone off the rails and veered too far into the opposite direction. As a recovering Hot Mess Mom, I think this has been to our utter detriment. It has only allowed us to lean into mediocrity, or worse, in motherhood and homemaking. Our homes are absurdly disorganized, our kids are behind in school as a collective, we’re simply not thriving. We’re surviving, and just barely. Just as a homemaker cannot sustain a pursuit of perfection, she cannot thrive in neglecting to push herself to be better.

Embracing Imperfection: The Power of Progress

However, through my journey as a beginner homesteader, I’m learning to embrace imperfection (while still striving for progress) as an essential part of the process. Whether it’s planting my first garden or learning to make homemade remedies, each small step forward is a victory within itself. Instead of striving for perfection, I’m focusing on making progress in areas that matter most to me and my family’s well being. And yes, sometimes this means sacrificing another area. Sometimes that’s a temporary sacrifice. But sometimes it’s a permanent one. Only you can determine what areas you need to focus on and which are fine to cut.

Cultivating Resilience Through Homesteading

Homesteading (although, honestly, I feel like we’re barely doing it yet) has already been a transformative experience that has taught me valuable lessons, resilience, and adaptability. From dealing with failed crops to learning how to live more sustainably, every challenge has been an opportunity for growth. By embracing the imperfections inherent in homesteading, I’ve cultivated a deeper skill of resilience that goes beyond my garden into other aspects of my life.

Finding Balance in Wellness

On my wellness journey, I’ve come to realize that true health is about finding balance rather than striving for perfection. Instead of following restrictive diets, I focus on nourishing my body with wholesome foods and engaging in activities that bring me joy. I need to improve my exercise routine, but that’s currently on the back burner as I care for a newborn and two older kiddos. I’m working on moving my body more, but am letting myself be OK with not doing as much as I’d like to be right now. By prioritizing self-care (real self care, not over-indulgence or consumerism masquerading as such) and listening to my body’s needs, I’ve found what I hope to be a sustainable approach to wellness that honors both my physical and emotional well-being. It’s not a perfect approach, but it’s progress. Every. Day.

Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection

As a stay-at-home mom and beginner homesteader, I’ve learned that progress is far more valuable than perfection. By embracing the journey and celebrating each small step forward, I’ve discovered a newfound sense of empowerment and fulfillment. Whether it’s cultivating a thriving garden or nurturing a happy and healthy family, the pursuit of progress allows me to savor the beauty of imperfection and find joy in the journey itself. I’m learning that small steps each day is the ticket to cultivating a clean and inviting home. Striving to do something each day that cannot be undone easily is a better goal than the arbitrary desire to have a “clean house”.

Conclusion

In a society that often demands perfection, embracing progress is a radical act of self-love and acceptance. As a stay-at-home mom and beginner homesteader on a wellness journey, I’ve learned to prioritize progress over perfection in every aspect of my life. This does not mean that I’m allowing myself to lean into the “hot mess”, but it does mean celebrating the small victories and embracing the beauty of imperfection. Through this, I’ve found true fulfillment and happiness in the journey towards holistic health, homemaking, and homesteading.